Tag: love

“Chattanooga Choo Choo”

It is late August in Phoenix.  Temperatures in the 110’s, no rain for days, then monsoon dust and rain with high damaging winds. 

It is hard to keep plants alive or go outside after 9:00 am or until 9:00 pm. 

There are a lot of changes in my life right now.  What I am trying to achieve is very good.  The road to get there seems full of roadblocks, disappointments and setbacks.  Patrick and I have made a plan and are continuing to push forward. 

I don’t give up.  I am continually planning, regrouping, and pushing forward. Patrick feels the same way. 

The last two weeks have been difficult.   Several times in the last week, I have been in tears. For those of you who know me well, I don’t usually cry.  Only when frustration sets in to a point that I temporarily lose my way. When that happens, I know it is time to stop, figure out worst case scenario (even if it a Kobayshi Maru) and what I can do to resolve it.   

I reached that point yesterday.  This morning I (and Patrick) made some decisions, and I am in the process of letting the disappointments and frustrations go. 

When I try to let go, there are four videos that I watch.  They are my four favorites, and they always make me smile.  I even dance and sing along. 

Those four are: 

“The Nicholas Brothers Ultimate Stair Dance” I have always dreamed of being able to Tap Dance. 

“Ragg Mopp” The Treniers.  My Uncle Ben would play the piano and sing this to us when we were kids. 

Lucy and Ricky “Cuban Pete”, anyone who is an “I Love Lucy” fan should enjoy this one. 

And my all-time favorite 

Glenn Miller “Chattanooga Choo Choo” 

(Special shout out to “Sing Sing Sing” Benny Goodman, which is a close runner up.  My son, the drummer, re-introduced me to this one in the 90’s.) 

I watched all of them today. 

You will notice all are from the 40’s/50’s. I was introduced to  
“Chattanooga Choo Choo” and Glenn Miller by my mother.  She would sing it to me when I was a little girl. 

My parents married May 16, 1942.  My Mother was eighteen and had just graduated High School.  My Daddy was twenty-two and was sure he would be drafted soon.  They were very young but impending miliary service and WWII caused them to decide to marry.  

They were both working and decided to get married on Saturday afternoon.  My mother worked Saturday morning and went home to get ready to go to the Preacher’s house to get married.  She told me her mother, a great seamstress, had made her a beautiful blouse to wear with a suit.  As my mother told me the story many times, her mother, my Daddy’s parents and my Daddy’s sister and her husband were there.  I forget if my mother’s sister was there.  They were very close, so I am sure if it were possible she was there also. 

There are no pictures, which makes me sad.  I have many other pictures of my parents during those years, and they were so young and so beautiful. 

After they got married, they rode the train from Atlanta to Chattanooga and spent their honeymoon night there. They returned Sunday night and went to work on Monday morning. 

There are so many stories about their marriage.  Some sad, many happy.  I think they are one of the greatest stories of marriage that endured until my mother passed away in 2020.  My Dad lived to almost 104 and always said she was the only woman he ever loved. 

As Mother approached her 90’s, she had dementia.  In the last years, she sometimes drifted back to her childhood or when she was a young adult.  When she was upset or confused and in Memory Care, I would sometimes play “Chattanooga Choo Choo” on my phone for her.  She wasn’t sure why, but it made her smile.  She forgot a lot, but she remembered who Daddy was until the end.  She would reach out to hold his hand, and it made her feel safe.  She always said he was her hero. 

I believe “Chattanooga Choo Choo” was so linked to him and their life together that she never forgot. 

Now that I have listened and watched the video, I am calm, determined, and ready to move forward.  It’s the way I was raised.  Daddy would say “you’ve got to take the bad with the good.”  I am glad that so far in my seventy-seven years the good has far outweighed the bad. 

My Parents and Grandparents pushed on through war, the depression, poverty, sickness and disappointments. They persevered and never gave up.  

I’ve got this! 

Love and Peace,  

Linda 

“Deja Vu…all over again”

In a couple of weeks, I am going to North Carolina to visit my son, daughter-in-law and three grandsons. While I am there my oldest Grandson will celebrate his 17th birthday.

This time last year I was preparing to make the same trip. I am not the same person I was then. The last year has been a year of significant changes for me.

When there are changes in my life, especially those I do not choose and have no control over, I tend to break them down, analyze (sometimes excessively), write them out, make necessary adjustments, file them away and move on.

I moved to Phoenix in 2011, one of the reasons was to be near my youngest son and his family. They became a huge part of my life. I had the joy of being an interactive, involved Gramma. It took a couple of years for me to get into the role, but the last ten years have been one of the greatest joys of my life.

Last August, they moved to North Carolina. While I knew it was coming, when it happened it was quick…and they were gone. It was a positive move for them, but it was a physical and emotional shock for me.

Once they were gone, I planned to go there for a visit. I left last September 10th. I was only there a couple of days when I got the call that my 103-year-old Dad had fallen, and his hip was broken. We had feared that this would happen. I left North Carolina and drove to Anniston to be with him.

I cancelled my class at the community college for the fall and from then until my Dad’s ashes were buried at his military funeral in late January, I spent three months in Alabama and Georgia.

I am glad that I was able to spend the time with my Dad. He worked very hard to recover. Our focus was on getting him well enough to get back to his assisted living and he was able to do that. Sadly, the combination of his advanced age and the trauma of the broken hip was too much for him to overcome and he passed away just twelve days before his one hundred and fourth birthday. He retained his mental capacity to the end, and we had days of doing things that we both enjoyed. My brother and my oldest son and his family spent a lot of time with him as well. I came back to Phoenix several times to rest, regroup and take care of things here. Patrick was good to keep things going on the home front and taking care of my beloved 18-year-old Shih Tzu, Winston.

In late January, after my Dad’s burial, I came home to find that Winston had continued to deteriorate. He had Cushing’s Disease. We found out in October, during one of my trips back home and decided at his age and general health we would not treat but just try to give him the best life possible. By mid-April, he was no longer the happy little dog, my “little man in a fur suit.”  He was having trouble and could no longer take his walks where he sniffed every blade of grass and every shrub and greeted all his friends, both humans and dogs. He was having trouble eating, we sometimes had to hand feed him. His mobility was seriously compromised, and he could no longer curl up to sleep but would lay on his side with legs straight out. The vet advised us that he was going downhill fast and we should let him go while he was still himself. We made that decision and held him as he crossed the rainbow bridge.

In nine months’ time, my family had moved away, my Daddy had died and now my dog was gone. There were times of overwhelming sadness, but I continued to push forward.

There were good things that happened during the last year. I finally sold my nineteen-year-old Jeep (nickname Heap) and bought a pickup truck, Buck the Truck II. I ran (walked!) the Turkey Trot 5K race, something I had never done and finished in the middle of my age group. I completed two more classes at the community college toward my certificate in personal training. Patrick and I visited family in North Carolina, finished cleaning out my Dad’s house in Georgia and went through Alabama and had dinner with my older son and Granddaughter. We drove from Raleigh, North Carolina to Phoenix, which was an accomplishment for two old people!

Patrick and I also did a DIY remodel on our laundry closet enlarging it. I learned to use a chop saw! I continued my yard work, gardening and taking care of and propagating numerous plants. I consistently walked seven thousand steps every day and strength trained three times a week.

My grandsons had given me an Afghan craft kit for Christmas. I have taught myself to crochet and the Afghan is in progress.

There has been recurring emptiness at times and sadness. My days are different. My emotions at times have been on a roller coaster ride but I find peace on a daily basis.

What will next year bring? I am sure there will be happiness, laughter, and accomplishment…there will also be times of sadness, frustration, and adjustment. I will continue to look for Winston at the door when I come home; pass the soccer field, the Children’s Museum, the train park and miss my Grandchildren; see a bag of jellybeans or a cool truck and think of my Daddy.

My Daddy always said, “If you have a roof over your head, food on the table and a car in the driveway you have nothing to complain about.”    For now, I will go with that.

Love and Peace, Linda