In a couple of weeks, I am going to North Carolina to visit my son, daughter-in-law and three grandsons. While I am there my oldest Grandson will celebrate his 17^th birthday.

This time last year I was preparing to make the same trip. I am not the same person I was then. The last year has been a year of significant changes for me.

When there are changes in my life, especially those I do not choose and have no control over, I tend to break them down, analyze (sometimes excessively), write them out, make necessary adjustments, file them away and move on.

I moved to Phoenix in 2011, one of the reasons was to be near my youngest son and his family. They became a huge part of my life. I had the joy of being an interactive, involved Gramma. It took a couple of years for me to get into the role, but the last ten years have been one of the greatest joys of my life.

Last August, they moved to North Carolina. While I knew it was coming, when it happened it was quick…and they were gone. It was a positive move for them, but it was a physical and emotional shock for me.

Once they were gone, I planned to go there for a visit. I left last September 10^th. I was only there a couple of days when I got the call that my 103-year-old Dad had fallen, and his hip was broken. We had feared that this would happen. I left North Carolina and drove to Anniston to be with him.

I cancelled my class at the community college for the fall and from then until my Dad’s ashes were buried at his military funeral in late January, I spent three months in Alabama and Georgia.

I am glad that I was able to spend the time with my Dad. He worked very hard to recover. Our focus was on getting him well enough to get back to his assisted living and he was able to do that. Sadly, the combination of his advanced age and the trauma of the broken hip was too much for him to overcome and he passed away just twelve days before his one hundred and fourth birthday. He retained his mental capacity to the end, and we had days of doing things that we both enjoyed. My brother and my oldest son and his family spent a lot of time with him as well. I came back to Phoenix several times to rest, regroup and take care of things here. Patrick was good to keep things going on the home front and taking care of my beloved 18-year-old Shih Tzu, Winston.

In late January, after my Dad’s burial, I came home to find that Winston had continued to deteriorate. He had Cushing’s Disease. We found out in October, during one of my trips back home and decided at his age and general health we would not treat but just try to give him the best life possible. By mid-April, he was no longer the happy little dog, my “little man in a fur suit.”  He was having trouble and could no longer take his walks where he sniffed every blade of grass and every shrub and greeted all his friends, both humans and dogs. He was having trouble eating, we sometimes had to hand feed him. His mobility was seriously compromised, and he could no longer curl up to sleep but would lay on his side with legs straight out. The vet advised us that he was going downhill fast and we should let him go while he was still himself. We made that decision and held him as he crossed the rainbow bridge.

In nine months’ time, my family had moved away, my Daddy had died and now my dog was gone. There were times of overwhelming sadness, but I continued to push forward.

There were good things that happened during the last year. I finally sold my nineteen-year-old Jeep (nickname Heap) and bought a pickup truck, Buck the Truck II. I ran (walked!) the Turkey Trot 5K race, something I had never done and finished in the middle of my age group. I completed two more classes at the community college toward my certificate in personal training. Patrick and I visited family in North Carolina, finished cleaning out my Dad’s house in Georgia and went through Alabama and had dinner with my older son and Granddaughter. We drove from Raleigh, North Carolina to Phoenix, which was an accomplishment for two old people!

Patrick and I also did a DIY remodel on our laundry closet enlarging it. I learned to use a chop saw! I continued my yard work, gardening and taking care of and propagating numerous plants. I consistently walked seven thousand steps every day and strength trained three times a week.

My grandsons had given me an Afghan craft kit for Christmas. I have taught myself to crochet and the Afghan is in progress.

There has been recurring emptiness at times and sadness. My days are different. My emotions at times have been on a roller coaster ride but I find peace on a daily basis.

What will next year bring? I am sure there will be happiness, laughter, and accomplishment…there will also be times of sadness, frustration, and adjustment. I will continue to look for Winston at the door when I come home; pass the soccer field, the Children’s Museum, the train park and miss my Grandchildren; see a bag of jellybeans or a cool truck and think of my Daddy.

My Daddy always said, “If you have a roof over your head, food on the table and a car in the driveway you have nothing to complain about.”    For now, I will go with that.

Love and Peace, Linda